/i don't believe in love

I dont believe in love anymore.............yup love cuman nyusahin, cuman make my heart hurt. just imagine when u love someone and she/he love u too but he/she ssaid that he/she really2 want to hug other...how do u feel about that? biasa aja? shittt man, ga mungkin biasa2 aja, kalo ada yang jawab biasa2 aja, i think u r never really love ur bf/gf...

Upset Day

Friday, 19:50 Wib -

Upset bgt nie g ...................

Lonely

Today, lonely banget nie rasanya, LXM sometimes dingin banget orangnya, kaya yang barusan terjadi, g nanyain beberapa hal lewat sms, tapi di reply dengan seadanya banget, kaya ga niat bales sms. Ya orangnya memang gitu, kalo giliran dia aja yang lagi kesepian, baru nyari2, tapi kalo ga kesepian, kayanya ......ya gimana gt, g ga tau dia ngerasain juga ga sie atau malah ngerasa semuanya biasa2 aja. G nulis ini bukan pengen nyalahin siapa2 lho, cuman ini yang lagi g rasain sekarang sewaktu nulis blog ini. G pengen bilang ke dia, kalo mmg ga niat sms ya mendingan ga usah sms aja, Udah balesnya lama, jawabannya seadanya lagi. Learn dong how to show what u feel, learn how to respect the one u like, learn how to keep relation. G ga pernah maksa2 supaya berubah jadi seperti yang g pengen, tapi belajar lah untuk mengerti orang lain selain kalo kamu pengen dimengerti, belajar memahami perasaan orang lain selain kalo kamu pengen perasaan kamu pengen dimengerti.

puffffffffffff

pufffffffffffffffff...rush....rush.....rush.....perasaaan semua yang g lakukan 2 weeks ago ampe sekarang berjalan dalam rush......LEO laku cuman barangnya terbatas, mudah2an sie the next 2 weeks, segala trouble-nya uda beres. Talkin' about Love, g rasa yang baca blog ini, udah tau bahasan yang sekarang kan " LXM". G makin sayang ama dia nie, ga tau kenapa g bener2 sayang ma dia. Ntar tgl 15-16 July, rencananya kita mau ke Badnung, hope semua berjalan lancar2 aja.
Btw, dua minggu terakhir ini citibank credit card holder, dimanja banget ama carefour, bayangin aja minggu lalu cash back 10% dan kemaren cash back 20%, gila ya, apa ga pake otak tuh, untuk darimana dia, mungkin dari biaya listing yang setinggi nirwana jadi backbone untuk menanggung-nya :)
G kangen nie ama LXM, giman dong? g juga takut kehilangan dia, waktu g dan dia tinggal 22 bulan kurang 1 minggu, dia tau ngga ya kalo g bener2 love her?
Mana waktu g ma dia selalu berkurang, dia sering-2 DLK lagi, ke LMPG dan ntar mau ke PTI, wah makin jarang ketemu nie............

Do U ?

Last nite - I cannot sleep. Also a major loneliness. I'm so faraway from my family and from LXM.. and when i'm home there will be no LXM. So sad without LXM..

I kept doing my work today, no rush, just wanna do something.

I love LXM. The very nice girl.. sobss... coming home and being here is both painful.

My LXM my LXM my LXM i wish i dont have to let you go. Ever.
Even for only 3 metres away from me.

Do you feel the same thing?

TEGA

Di tengah rasa rindu ku yang menggebu, Kau bersama dia
Di saat-saat ku menunggu dirimu, Kau bersama dia
Bila kau cinta aku, Mengapa kau tipu diriku
Kau bunuh hatiku, Saat ku bernafas untukmu

I've Never Loved Someone

ive nvr loved someone the way i have for LXM, her leaving will hurt the both of us so much, bt of course... we'll stil hve the nxt 22 mths together, all i can think of is to spend every minute wit her, cherish our time together. most important thing on my mind now is to achieve good career successfully, although i knew 'us' would end from the time i knew her, i juz had to get to be wit and know her more, shes this wonderful and smart girl tat everyone shud grow to love, all those rumours and stories abt her are nothing bt RUMOURS... stories weak pple make up juz to make themselves feel better. LXM's the strongest girl ive seen, been thru so much in life where the rest of us can only have nightmares abt, yet she stil appears strong, i noe so little pple or no one that can endure wad shes been thru.rite nw shes here by my side, i wud do anything to make her happy, i understand y shes leaving, shes got a family to take care of, a real heavy responsibility for a 25yr old girl if u ask me. hope she'll be successful when she gets home.. aha of course she will.. and may fate bring our paths together to meet one another's......

Right Now

Right now i am in jkt... and LXM in Lampung, oh she is the sweetest girl i have ever seen, the sweetest smile that i do not want to let go, the sweetest scent..

4 more weeks before i have to go back, to a life i once knew, i dont want to, but there is no other way...
I didnt feel like bloggin... there were time when i almost parted ways and there were no words that i could pour here.

Now, its overwhelming... I love her i love her .
I love you LXM and i would never forget nor let go of you.
Take me deeper and erase my memories from which i cried and fill it with the joy you bring from each grace u make.
You are my angel, my savior, my indulgence, i am restless, knowing that such good exists... i want you, bad.