Love Relationship Priorities

Reality is dealing with the issues that affect you. If you feel uncomfortable or insecure about something between you and your mate, if you ignore it, it destroys your peace and joy in the relationship. It can eventually multiply with other problems to destroy the relationship altogether.

If you have a problem and don't work it out together but you work it out in yourself so you can handle it alone, you still won't have peace in your relationship. When two are joined as one flesh, you can't be happy or peaceful without the other. Everything each of you does affects the other.

If you strengthen yourself in enduring whatever is happening, you will eventually reveal your true feelings by doing resentful things. Your mate will feel the negative energy. The unpleasant emotional feelings generated by the unresloved problems will not go away.

You have to care enough about yourself to realize the problem is not all yours. Sometimes one person will take the blame and try to straighten themselves up. If they feel jealous, they work very hard at trying to not feel jealous thinking they are wrong in their fears that their mate is being unfaithful somehow.

Yet when a problem involves unfaithfulness, disrespect or anything else, the feelings will match the problem. There is something wrong in that area or your energy wouldn't be off that way. It's a mutual problem and should be confronted. The evidences from your feelings and emotions shouldn't be ignored as they are a gauge to what problems exist between you.

The thing is, if you have cultivated an openess between you when things are going well, when a feeling that is wrong comes along, you will sit down and talk about it. You will be able to share the concerns and fears between you in a peaceful way without blaming or sending each other guilt trips.

The bad thing is when you don't do this as problems come along but you let things slide. You force negative feelings away, telling yourself you are over reacting or blaming something on him/her when they are probably innocent. This kind of thinking promotes the "poor me who has to endure suffering" concept

You have to care enough about yourself to say, "This is not just my problem but his/hers also. If I feel this way, our energy is not flowing lovingly and peacefully together as it used to. Something is wrong. We need to discuss, on an equal basis, that we are both responsible equally for a tension that is disrupting our relationship. It is not something for me to handle alone, like somehow I am doing them a disservice by having these thoughts. But by nature of these feelings and thoughts there is something wrong concerning his/her actions or thoughts too.

If you take the burden on yourself, you become not only "poor me" but you try to resolve everything yourself also. Then, because you are working to make things better and they are not, you become the "right" one and they are seen as the "wrong" one. This creates more division by causing more resentful thoughts and actions between you.

If you can't discuss these things openly when they are small, they will gain momentum through time. Suddenly an eruption will occur and you will be facing seemingly insurmountable troubles. Each person will be caught up in their own definition of what's wrong. Neither realizing that if one of them has a problem, the other has to have a corresponding problem for that problem to even exist between them. Both are responsible, both are equally to blame, both have to work out their own corresponding problems and see how they jointly caused the breach.Then together they can start doing the loving things that unite them in love again.

Maintaining a loving relationship is really based on simple principles. The old fashioned concepts of respecting, honoring and pleasing your mate are the keys. Each serving the other rather than expecting to be served creates a warm and loving atmosphere of trust.

If you choose to face the truth of your emotions and feelings (using them as a gague) instead of fearfully hiding from what they reveal, you can deal with reality as it occurs and reinforce the bond between you. If you don't, you will always be hiding out and fear will dominate your relationships. This will cause resentment which causes disrespect and dishonor which could eventually destroy the love between you.

If someone is resentful, they are not thinking how to please their loved one. Instead they are holding their love back, drawing themselves away and rejecting any indication of love from the other. They are in a "pay back" mode..."If they are treating me like that, then I'm going to treat them like this!" This unresloved resentment is a lot from pride that no one has a right to treat you that way! However, this is all selfishness and ego and will never make the other person start treating you right.

If two people have a corresponding problem, they both have to realize they are equally responsible.They have to work out their end of it and let the other person off the hook. "I can't change anyone else, only myself, so I have to let the other person do what they need to do and I will do what I need to." But both have to have a desire to make the relationship work. It has to be the priority over ego and pride. When they discuss problems, it has to be with openness and respect for the other's feelings and viewpoints. No one has the need to be "right". The goal is to restore the loving feelings between them.

The number one priority in a relationship is to maintain that loving feeling, whatever it takes. However, this does not mean a "peace at any price" victim stance. It means each person has to really get to know the other and know what genuinally pleases them and make that their offering of love. Each person should guard their words, thoughts and actions that might dishonor the other. They should be aware of themselves and their problem areas and work to become a better person in relation to the people they love.

Karena Ku Cinta Kau

Jika ada yang bilang ku lupa kau
Jangan kau dengar
Jika ada yang bilang ku tak setia
Jangan kau dengar

Banyak cinta yang datang mendekat
Ku menolak
Semua itu karena ku cinta kau

Jika ada yang bilang ku tak baik
Jangan kau dengar
Jika ada yang bilang ku berubah
Jangan kau dengar

Banyak cinta yang datang mendekat
Ku menolak
Semua itu karena ku cinta kau
Kau

Saat kau ingat aku ku ingat kau
Saat kau rindu aku juga rasa
Ku tahu kau slalu ingin denganku
Ku lakukan yang terbaik yang bisa ku lakukan
Tuhan yang tahu ku cinta kau

Jika kau tak percaya pada ku
Sakitnya aku
Jika kau lebih dengar mereka
Sedih hatiku
Banyak cinta yang datang mendekat
Ku menolak
Semua itu karena ku cinta kau
Kau


Saat kau ingat aku ku ingat kau
Saat kau rindu aku juga rasa
Ku tahu kau slalu ingin denganku
Kau tahu ku juga ingin denganmu
Ku tahu kau slalu ingin denganku
Ku lakukan yang terbaik yang bisa ku lakukan
Tuhan yang tahu ku cinta kau

The best place to live in Asia!

Not many people in this world realize that Singapore started out by taking Switzerland as a role model. We are lucky to have a “very” pragmatic leader constantly reminding us that Switzerland is a good country to follow.

To us, Switzerland is the best country to live in the world. It was to us 30 yrs ago, and it’s still is now. Even the international rating says so here.

The more obvious things about Singapore, which most tourists would have noticed by now, is being multi-culturalism, multi-language, multi-religious, and having multi national company and multi-foreigner.

But only those who have the experience of living here will realize that, Singapore is like Switzerland. It is a peaceful, prosperous, and stable modern market economy with low (if not zero) unemployment, a highly skilled labor force, free from below-the-line poverty, and a per capita GDP larger than some of the big Western European economies, as well as a stable and clean governance. A Swiss here has written the similarities between Singapore and Switzerland.

As far as I remember growing up in the 80s, I have foreigners (particularly the Europeans) here coming up to me and telling me all the time that Singapore is known as the Switzerland of the East (We did not name this ourselves).

Singapore has come a long way and has now become the best place in Asia to live in. The main draw about Singapore is that it is the SAFEST place to live in, if not the second safest place in the world.

Attached is a pic of a kid (looks like 9,10 yrs old) dining by himself in the food court here. I took this pic recently in my area. There are not many countries in this world like Singapore where you can get to have kids walking FREELY by themselves on the street. That to me, it’s TRUE FREEDOM any countries can ask for!

EVERYONE has to work in order to have money

Singaporeans have the highest saving rate in the world. Over here in Singapore, EVERYONE has to work in order to have money. Then how did we still able to obtain the highest saving rate in the world in spite of high living cost and standard?

All thanks to the brilliant idea of “compulsory” savings over here called Central Provident Fund (CPF)system. (This review of Singapore’s alternate welfare system was written by an Associate Professor of Economics in the mid 90s.)

As I mentioned before, we do not have the same kind of welfare system in the west, esp in north america, where you might not necessary need to work just by declaring you are disabled or “something” else, and you could use it as a “cushion” and be taken care of for the rest of your life. Of course it’s not a good sign where the taxpayers have to keep paying tax to “take care” of them.

Singapore has an unique system whereby everyone’s salary would automatically be deducted and contribute to your personal CPF (Central Provident Fund)account monthly. And yes, you do earn interest while letting your money sit in the CPF account.

There are 2 types of account in our CPF-The ordinary account and Medisave(you could only use medisave for medical purpose once you reach 55 yrs old)

It doesn’t matter if you are Singaporean or foreigner living in Singapore. Once you start working here, you will automatically become a member of the CPF, and your salary will automatically be deducted accordingly and contribute to the CPF fund.

Contribution By Employer is 13% (To the employee’s account)
Contribution By Employee is 20% (To our own account)

You are entitled to get back all the saving once you retire at age 55.

(For foreigners, you don’t have to wait till old age to get the money back, it will be returned to you once you have stopped work and intending to leave the country)

All of us could access and monitor our own account by visiting the CPF board or by the website here (by using our password).

In the past, this policy was “tougher” (for Singaporeans) and won’t allow you to use it for other means except using it as retirement fund. But nowaday the govt has changed the policy and allowed us to use the money for other purposes like investment e.g. in housing or marriage. (There is still a mimimum to keep in your own CPF account as the govt does not want anyone to go bankrupt by taking all out at the same time)

I do not how many countries have this kind of system already but I do know that this system has been adopted by China (one of the few systems they’ve learnt from us) when they first opened up their economy in the 90s, and now even the Chinese China ppl has more saving than the Americans. (In China, they’ve called the compulsory saving scheme as “something else”, not “CPF”)

This is a system that is bulletproof whereby individual can’t beat or “abused” it. It minimizes the no. of bums or wasted people in the society, and everyone is motivated to work and be an active member of the society. It also helps us to have enough money when we retire, and to be taken care of once you have reached an old age. Afterall, it’s your own money that you EARNEDrighteously.

That is one of the main reasons why there is no homeless or beggar in Singapore, and we have the highest rate of home ownership in the world.

Nobody owes you a living here in Singapore, as it’s very much *YOUR OWN responsibility* to take care of yourself.

And of course, this system will only work if you have a honest and clean govt.

taken from : www.43things.com

Everything Happen For A reason

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible,
painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create whom you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create you own life and then go out and live it.

There's Nothing Stupid

Theres nothing stupid things if you do something in the name of Love

A Walk to Remember

"do you love me?' i asked her. she smiled. 'yes.'

'do you want me to be happy?' as i asked her this i felt my heart beginning to reace. 'of corse i do.'

'will you do something for me then?' she looked away, sadness crossing her features.

'i dont know if i can anymore.' she said.

'but if you could, would you?' i cannot adequately describe the intensity of what i was feeling at that moment.

love, anger, sadness, hope, and fear, whirling together sharpened by the nervousness i was feeling.

Jamie looked at me curiously any my breaths became shallower. suddenly i knew that id never felt as strongly for another person as i did at that moment. as i returned her gaze, this simple realization made me wish for the millionth time that i could make all this go away.

Had it been possible, i would have traded my life for hers. i wanted to tell her my thoughts, but the sound of her voice suddenly silenced the emotions inside me. 'yes' she finally said, her voice weak yet somehow still full of promise. ' i would.' finally getting control of myself i kissed her again, then brot my hand to her face, gently running my fingers over her cheek.

I marveled at the softness of her skin, the gentleness i saw in her eyes. even now she was perfect. my throat began to tighten again, but as i said, i knew wat i had to do. since i had to accept that it was not within my power to cure her, what i wanted to do was give her something that shed wanted.

It was wat my heart had been telling me to do all along. Jamie, i understood then, had already given me the answer id been searching for, the answer my heart needed to find.

She told me outside mr. jenkins office, the night wed asked him about doing the play. i smiled softly, and she returned my affection with a slight squeeze of my hand, as if trusting me in wat i was about to do. encouraged, i leaned closer and took a deep breath. when i exhaled, these were the words that flowed with my breath. 'will you marry me?"

— Nicholas Sparks (A Walk to Remember)

Susahnya Membuat Suprizee

Hai All

Wah baru kali ini g ngalamin susahnya buat Surprizee yang lumayan penting. Sudah 3 kali percobaan, gagal semua hihihi (apakah ini tanda-tanda? wkwkkw...ngga lah yah)

Yang pertama mau buat surprizee di Negara Tetangga, Singapore, tapi karena satu dan laen hal. Eh Gagal. Lalu Pas di Bandung mau buat surprizee eh Gagal juga. Dan Today pas udah siap-siapin semuanya menyambut tanggal 4. eh gagal lagi malam ini wkwkwkw

Ternyata lebih gampang buat CePe alias CP alias Consumer promo :)


3 Aug 2011

Abe

Alila Ubud Bali

Something Borrowed

"When you are in a relationship, you are aware that it might end. You might grow apart, find someone else, simply fall out of love. But a friendship isn't a zero-sum game, especially an old friendship. You take its permanence for granted, which might be the very thing so dear about it."

"Nothing is ever perfect. It is what you make of it."